That Pesky Free Will

What was I thinking?? These photos are along the way of my bicycle to work commute. And I was whining?? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️ That pesky Free Will....

It's Friday. I wanted to ride my bike to work, but yesterday my legs got so dirty and there is the one mile of washboards that shake my teeth, and the uphill boulder section... yes, I was whining. So, I decided to take the highway. It's graded. It's flat. I've seen other people do it! It'll be easy! As I came to the intersection and a semi flew by me, I prayed, "God? Is this a good idea?" He said, "It's your choice." So, I forged ahead with my easy plan.

There are things you just don't notice when driving like the edge of the pavement has a 6" drop off at best. There is no escape route. Semis will always be passing an oncoming car when they pass you. It was a perilous journey. I pedaled harder and faster than I normally would. My legs ached. I was out of breath. My arms were tense, and my teeth hurt from clenching them the whole way!

So, what did I miss by taking the easy way? The pleasure of a beautiful morning. There was no mountain view, no cheerful creek, no peace, no thoughtful time in prayer, not a speck of joy! Sure, that way can be bumpy, a little messy, hard work, and sometimes I've been bruised, but it always, always is rewarding and refreshing.

What was the cost of my choice? What did I gain from the easy way? I gained a lesson for sure. The route was 2 miles shorter so I went 10 miles instead of 12. Was it worth it? It was 5 minutes shorter.  Again, was it worth it?  I was exhausted and on edge not invigorated and ready for work. Now, none of this surprised God. He knew my choice wouldn't be satisfying, but He also knew I wouldn't be satisfied without learning the lesson. How often do I think there is an easy way out and complain about the road ahead? 

As humans, we suffer so much from what ifs or greener grasses or a manufactured sense of dissatisfaction. God lovingly allows us to make those choices, and patiently takes us back under His wing when we turn back to Him.  The true travesty is not recognizing when we have gone rogue.  When we refuse to return to the guidance of the Creator of the Universe who knows and sees all things. He knows what I don't and sees what I can't so why stubbornly and willfully do I insist on my own way? Oh yeah, it's that guy... the one whispering in your ear that it's what you want that matters, its how you feel/identify that's most important, it's all about you and after all, you deserve the easy path. Your way and personal view are all that matter. 

Seems condemning to be reminded of "Thy Will be done." Yet, God doesn't condemn. He loves. He welcomes. 2 Corinthians 2:11 reminds us if we are listening to God instead ourselves, "that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes." Walking with God may not seem the easiest path, but the things I missed on my ride this morning, peace, joy, safety, contentment, He freely offers. Listen and choose wisely and most of all, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5,6

Anatomy of a Prairie Fire

 Anatomy of a Prairie Fire by Mary E Ryan

Flash Crack Ignition smolder

Flash Flame Blaze crackle

Flash heat Breeze Billowing

Roaring Rolling Spreading

Turning Leaping Licking

Contorting Rising Reaching

Ravenous Consuming Carnivorous

Treacherous Unquenchable Unforgiving

creek bed hopping willows choking

Aspens Crumble frames of charcoal

Ash Falling Embers Kindle

naked earth soulful remains

Nightfall Sees An Angry Glowing

Running Terror Sends A Warning

Telling Flee or Fight No End In Sight

crawlers hiding weak ones dying

Marching On

No Remorse

Miles Devoured

Winds subsiding

gentle rain

diluting

sizzle

still

I Am Prairie Fire

too early, trees invade

too late, grazers suffer

On Time, Renewal Refining Redefining

I am prairie fire.

Love Note to Life

If you are reading this – it isn’t a mistake – you are meant to read this. If you are reading this – then know whatever family, friend, unknown, or even broken relationship we have, I love you. In fact, I love you enough that I cannot bear the thought of you enduring life without Jesus. Hey, before you roll your eyes and scroll on.... hear me out!

I once heard a story about a man waiting in line for McDonald’s. Another man came up to him randomly and said, “Excuse me sir, I really think you should have that spot on your neck looked at.” Now, the first man could have answered, “Don’t tell me how to live my life!” He could have shouted obscenities at him or even hit him in the face. He could have said, “Thank you” and never thought of the situation again. He could have pretended not to hear him. What he did do was go to his doctor and have the spot looked at and come to find out it was the first stages of skin cancer. Because he listened and reached out for help, he was saved..

Now the second man was a dermatologist and he had choices too. He could have thought, “Look at that poor dude, he is totally going to die.” He could have turned around and walked away – not my problem – not my patient. He could have pretended not to see. Instead, he boldly walked up to someone and proclaimed the truth. Now, he didn’t grab him by the shoulders, shake the stuffing out of him and make him panic. He didn’t grab the sick man and force him to go to the hospital. He simply told him the truth.

If you were going to die a painful and awful death, would you want someone to tell you the truth or pretend like everything is just fine? Well, here I am – I am telling you the truth. Jesus is the only way to an eternal life that is so amazing it will make your greatest day on earth feel like a perpetual standardized test day from elementary school. If you haven’t already, then put down your number 2 pencil and ask Jesus into your life. It isn’t hard and it isn’t scary just simply pray: Jesus come into my life. I know that I am a sinner, but please be my savior today and always. Amen.

Now, do what the sick man did and reach out for help or maybe you have given your life to Jesus but you don't know what or how to do life? Write me, talk to a pastor, reach out please! Because I cannot bear – no matter what has happened between us humans on earth – to have you live through what Jesus described in Mark. I love you – and I really do mean it. Love, Mary

Mark 13: 14-27
The Awful Horror
14 “You will see ‘The Awful Horror’ standing in the place where he should not be.” (Note to the reader: understand what this means!) “Then those who are in Judea must run away to the hills. 15 Someone who is on the roof of a house must not lose time by going down into the house to get anything to take along. 16 Someone who is in the field must not go back to the house for a cloak. 17 How terrible it will be in those days for women who are pregnant and for mothers with little babies! 18 Pray to God that these things will not happen in the winter! 19 For the trouble of those days will be far worse than any the world has ever known from the very beginning when God created the world until the present time. Nor will there ever be anything like it again. 20 But the Lord has reduced the number of those days; if he had not, nobody would survive. For the sake of his chosen people, however, he has reduced those days.
21 “Then, if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘Look, there he is!’—do not believe it. 22 For false Messiahs and false prophets will appear. They will perform miracles and wonders in order to deceive even God's chosen people, if possible. 23 Be on your guard! I have told you everything ahead of time.
The Coming of the Son of Man
24 “In the days after that time of trouble the sun will grow dark, the moon will no longer shine, 25 the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers in space will be driven from their courses. 26 Then the Son of Man will appear, coming in the clouds with great power and glory. 27 He will send the angels out to the four corners of the earth to gather God's chosen people from one end of the world to the other. 

Illumination

 I had a dream and I wanted to share....

Government "people" were announcing in many ways TV, radio, even driving around with loud speakers that people needed to pick a number. They didn't care what it was, a football jersey, a grade on a school paper, a receipt, they wanted everyone to claim a number. As more and more people began to comply, the world was getting darker and darker until it was always dark and in the dark the mean creatures like cougars and panthers and bears were getting more and more bold until finally they would call out a number and if your self chosen number matched...poof... you were gone in the dark with the night creatures. Mickey and I stood and watched under a street lamp that continually kept us illuminated but we kept saying, "Stop picking numbers! No one is making you pick numbers! The dark only comes for you if you pick a number! Stop picking numbers!!"

Then a stranger nonchalantly, not bothered or scared of the dark, walked up and said to us, you need to use the wind. We saw a little girl trying to pick up a number, but she couldn't hear us crying for her to stop. I told Mickey we need to use the wind! He said then send a 100 mph wind! I said no! that will blow her away! Send a 3mph wind...and the wind came and gently blew the number away out of her reach and the dark night creatures tore off after the number while she joined us under the light.

Stop Look and Listen

 In case someone needed to hear this today.....

Psalm 37:7

Be patient and wait for the Lord to act; don't be worried about those who prosper or those who succeed in their evil plans.

I watched this poor fella struggle against the invisible barrier he couldn't understand. He could see where he wanted to go, but some force was keeping him from going that way. I kept thinking relax Friend and it will all become clear. If he had rested on the solid foundation, the pathway to freedom would have been clear, but instead he was angry, chaotic, frantic, and exhausted. Woah... how many of us can say the same?? How many of us have become angry, chaotic, frantic, and exhausted by the things of this world? If we pause, rest on the firm foundation and wait on Him our path to freedom would become clear too. Instead of focusing on the horizontal success or apparent success of others, rest and focus vertically, and wait for the Lord to act.

Big Belle and Doc MacBeech

 Big Belle and Doc MacBeech

No one really knew which one came first: the tree or the light, the light or the tree. Perched on a windswept rocky ledge was Point Pendulum lighthouse with her impressive Fresnel lens and Daboll foghorn. She was affectionately known as Big Belle. A weathered and knotty coastal pine also stood on the point with a long scabby tendrilled branch that had completely encircled Big Belle earning her the name of the Carousel Tree.

The old timers down at the Spit and Blade would tell a legend that the tree came first. Anytime a newcomer would chance upon them, they would start grinning wide enough to see their chew stained teeth and elbow each other like school boys. They would tell of a ship in dire straits off the coast and of the “kind” Native American locals that climbed on the branch of the Carousel Tree waving torches and saving the ship. Then the grins would turn to a sick hilarity and with tobacco colored spittle running out the corners of their mouths, they continued darkly about how those same Native Americans died of smallpox after the ship landed. Then they would disperse back to their shadowy corners laughing at what they believed was brilliant commentary.

In contrast, an old Scotsman would say the lighthouse came first. Doc MacBeech had a grizzled beard, and even though his beard had long ago lost its fire, his personality had not. He was a tree doctor and in a town that depended on logging as much as fishing and shipping, that position was well respected. He believed the strong sea wind constantly pushing and swirling around the lighthouse had over time wrapped that Carousel branch around Big Belle.

Perhaps it didn't really matter which one came first, because when the Keeper sent for Doc after a particularly frightful storm, the entire community of Port Pendulum collectively gasped. Doc climbed the point taking each step partly filled with dread at what was waiting for him and partly in agony as his old joints grated heavily. As he crested the rise, his relief at seeing Big Belle was quickly displaced with a heavy sigh. He could see from the distance the Carousel had splintered. The Keeper came to meet the doc and in low grave tones they discussed the severity of the tree's injury. Doc MacBeech agreed to wrap the limb with gauze and plaster like a splint on a broken bone, but in his heart he knew the tree would need an amputation to be saved.

The people of the port eagerly awaited his return. “How bad is it Doc?” One after another asked and asked as the people jockeyed for position to hear his response. “Aye, ‘tis a muckle break. Her life is cooming to a closs if we dony coot the branch soon.” “NO,” the people gasped and shouted. Impulsively, the mayor shouted, “It’s the infernal light!” “Nae, Nae it isny the light, but the storms, the wind that doon her in,” answered Doc. “Not true!” “Is true!” The townspeople began to split. The mayor incensed by the thought of losing the tree shouted, “Take down the lighthouse! Save our tree!” Others shouted back “Save the lighthouse! She saves lives! It’s not her fault!” In their consuming rage and discontent, they failed to notice the growing winds and the sea boiling on the horizon. The protests grew louder until shouts were heard “TO THE TREE!” “TO THE LIGHT!” No one heard Doc MacBeech “Nae! Nae! Stop! The branch canno’ be saved!”

Wielding axes and sledges and tools of all kinds, the people stormed to the ledge and attacked the unsuspecting Keeper and Big Belle while others scrambled to protect them. The cacophony was horrendous with neighbor against neighbor, fathers against mothers, brothers against sisters, peaceful friends turned to bloodcurdling enemies! The cracks and blows against the lighthouse were sickening, and the screams of the people deafening. As the lighthouse began to quaver and sway from the immense assault, the ignored and intensified storm sent up a gale that caught the toppling lighthouse and sent the timbering debris toward the edge of the rocky cliff collecting the entire Carousel Tree. Together they plummeted to the beach below.

Instantly the people froze. “What have we done?” they gasped in disbelief. In the distance barely to be heard over the rising storm, a ship was sending out a distress call. The people frantically looked at each other then hastily and sheepishly retreated from the peak and refuged in their homes. Helplessly, they could only image what was happening to the ragdoll ship being tossed on the Leviathan Sea.

When the storm had passed, the people emerged. On the beach lay a mass of twisted tree and lighthouse along with rows of bodies and cargo washed ashore. It was obvious the ship had not survived. Doc MacBeech, along with others, searched for survivors. As he approached a couple of bodies, he sunk knees to the sand and moaned “Nae, Nae, ‘is me own wee lass, me bairn.” The lifeless girl had entwined her hand in that of the boy that lay next to her. The mayor came upon the scene, “My Boy!” he wailed. The two had been wed and were coming to share their news when the ship had been sacrificed to the angry sea left without a light.

As mourners all along the beach wept with sobs of remorse and regret, a seagull went unnoticed to the last pinecone left on the remains of the Carousel Tree. He eagerly plucked the prize as if it were a priceless treat. In his haste to escape with his booty, he failed to see the diving eagle. Coming fast, the eagle seized the gull and quickly ended his dinner's life. From the beak of lifeless gull, the cone hurtled back toward the earth, but this time coming to rest in the hole where the lighthouse had stood.

A Different Kind of Semicolon

 A Different Kind of Semicolon

Do you see it? The unfinished row of Christmas lights on our fence? As my husband and I put the lights up today, I was reminded of why this row of lights is left unfinished. Last year when we bought the lights and put them up for the first time, we discovered we had miscalculated the length and needed one more set. No problem! We planned to pick up that set the next weekend, but that never happened. Instead, my sister in law, Wendy, had a brain aneurysm and that weekend was spent in the ICU. Her life was altered drastically. Our lives were forever changed. Gratefully, God spared her life despite a month in the ICU. It's as if the devil handed her a period and God smiled, said watch this, winked and turned the period, an ending, into a semicolon. Her life, our lives may have paused, but a year later we all seem to be richer for it. With her, I have found a new closeness, a soul sister, a bond that wasn't there before. Over this past year, we have shared walks, adventures, secrets, school girl giggles, and even the same baptism day. But more amazingly, I've watched her hunger for the word of God in a ravenous and impressive way. It's as if she took that semicolon, that break in her sentence and has run full speed like a warrior queen brandishing a two edge sword, but no longer down a treadmill trying to prove her earthly self worth, but instead seeking to expand the kingdom of God using the incredible gifts she possesses. Overall, our family seems to have gained a strengthened connection, a unity that had been abandoned. So as I gaze at the inopportune end of our lights, it no longer seems like a glaring error, but a reminder of Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." We don't have to look at the obstacles in our lives as burdens and endings, but a semicolon, a chance to readjust, refocus. After all, as a Christian there never is a period to the sentence of our lives because we serve a risen Savior who paid for our period and gives us an eternal semicolon. Spread the news!